My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
