New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize