And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
