I got her a Nickelback box set.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
