I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't turn off my feet"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize