Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
