I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize