Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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