I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
