if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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