sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
