Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
