Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
