the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
