I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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