i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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