I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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