His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
