Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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