Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
