Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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