he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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