he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
