btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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