Yo dont text me then not text me
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
