you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
