You just made me feel so damn special
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
