so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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