super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
