We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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