Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
