you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the day after is always just damage control
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
