I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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