I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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