I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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