Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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