these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
