he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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