I can text with my tongue
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
