i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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