I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
