I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
