Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
