Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
