If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
