I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
