Sry I called you an 8
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
