I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
