just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
