dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
