WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
