he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
