Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
