he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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