hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
