I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
