Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
