i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
