I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
