And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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