What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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