You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize