i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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