I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
