Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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