im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
