Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
