i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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